fear

Tuesday February 20, 2013

Today was a very good day. Aaron only had 3 seizures and he was more himself today. He played with his ball, turtle and basketball all day. He has learned to differentiate between his ball and basketball. His ball is "ball" and his basketball is "ba ball". I am glad to see him wanting to play. He also asked to eat today. He has not wanted to eat for so long. He ate half a container of baby food (green beans) and some yogurt. I am hoping that he will want to continue to eat food. Although he is doing good today I am still overcome with fear. Knowing that he needs to drink at 11p and 3a and that he might have another huge seizure scares me. I can't get the image of his purple face out of mind. When he does not wake up at his usual times my stomach is in knots. Is he ok? Is he having a seizure? Did he stop breathing again? are just some of the thoughts running through my mind. Holding him and snuggling with him at night has always been one of my favorite times with Aaron. It is quiet and he is still sleepy and he just melts into my arms. Now during these times he might have a seizure and the feel of his little body becoming stiff is awful. I wish there was something I could do to make it all better. I am hoping for a good night tonight. We need it.