I have met a lot of people with all of our therapy and Dr appointments. It never ceases to amaze me the things people say to ME and to their children. They rarely talk to Taevon and Aaron. Some will pull their kids back as if they can catch something from the boys. Others have told me that they feel sorry for me and the kids. I feel like the luckiest person to have these amazing kids in my life. Some people just pat them on the head and say Hi as if they don't think they are worth anymore of their time. Who greets people by patting them on the head? I have met lots of parents with special needs kids but most of them have only wanted to complain. Don't get me wrong, its really hard with 4 little boys and 3 of them with special needs. We get lots of stares when I take the boys out alone. Some people barely open doors and squeeze through so they don't have to hold the door. Kids point and some adults do too and we wonder why we have a bully problem. I am also exhausted by the end of the day and sometimes I do look at the clock hoping it is bedtime. And sometimes I feel alone. Not everyone really wants to hear about the boys and that makes me sad.
Anyways I met I woman at therapy today and she was just what I needed. Her little boy has therapy the same time as Taevon. We started talking and asking each other about the kids and she gets it. We talked about all kinds if things related to the kids. We both acknowledged that its hard but so rewarding. That nobody knows the potential of these sweet kids but God. That they deserve the same treatment as any other child (she also has a child that is not special needs). We both wished that people would talk to the kids like they are kids and not as if they don't understand anything. It was so nice to have someone to talk to that understands.
My boys understand way more than anyone knows. They may not be able to talk but they communicate so well. If people really got to know them and invested any time with them they would see how amazing they are. Aaron is the funniest little boy ever. He has such a sense of humor. He also knows people. If he knows they aren't really interested in him he just shuts down. On the other hand if he knows they genuinely care he seeks them out. He may wave or smile but he only really interacts with those that have spent time getting to know him. Taevon is the sweetest little boy. He loves to snuggle and be held. He smiles and gets excited when he sees people that play with him or that have spent time with him. He also shows when he is nervous when he gets around people that he is not as familiar with by drooling. Its sad to see the people that he drools around. Keagan is my wild child. Sometimes he gets overstimulated and sometimes he craves stimulation. I have to be very consistent with him and sometimes others think I am too hard on him. I hold him accountable for his actions and if it causes a tantrum we work through it. He does get extra chances and more warnings but he does have to follow the rules and manage his feelings appropriately. I firmly believe that kids who are constantly given excuses for poor behavior grow up to have behavior problems as adults. Sometimes I think people give them excuses so they don't have to parent. Its easier to let them act out and say they cant help it then to work through all of the negative behaviors.
Now we are needing to explain and answer questions from Nicholas. (7 years old) He sees everything. He continually asks us why some people don't talk to the boys or why some kids never play with the boys. The questions are more frequent and a lot harder to answer. He is a smart little boy and our answers are not always accepted. He is realizing how people act towards the boys. He is such a caring little boy. He stands up to bullies and doesn't let kids get bullied around him. He never teases or makes fun of anyone and is the first to stand up for them.
We have learned so much form these kids. I feel sorry for those who have not taken the time to get to really know these boys. They are missing out on so much. I feel so lucky to have been blessed with such amazing boys. I can't imagine my life without them. They are my whole world.
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